Kolumnen

Beziehungsar­beit – 30.07.2016

Eine erfolgreiche Entfremdungs-Präventions-Maßnahme an der Alten Donau.

Sonnenblumen in der Vase, „Mochi“-Futter satt (der Lieblingsjapaner meiner Verabredung), Minzblättchen ins Soda, den Blick auf die Alte Donau noch schnell nachpoliert: Ich bin im Behübschungsstress. Noch zehn Minuten, dann kommt mein Date in die Sommerparzelle. Bitte werfen Sie mir jetzt nicht gleich die Nerven weg, wirklich kein Grund zur Aufregung: Mein Date heißt nämlich Fortpflanz. Wir leisten jetzt Beziehungsarbeit. Zwar leben wir unter einem Dach in einer Generationenvertrags-WG, aber mir fiel unlängst auf, dass wir seit Wochen keine Qualitätskonversation miteinander geführt haben. Unser Kommunikationsverkehr reduziert sich auf Banalitätspartikel wie „Ist der Küchenkobold, der sonst den Geschirrspüler ausräumt, in einer Lebenskrise?“ oder „Mutter, alles unsexy, was im Kühlschrank ist!“ Nie plaudern wir über Tiefgehendes wie den wachsenden Narzissmus in der digitalen Gesellschaft, die türkische Neo-Diktatur oder jene Abartigkeiten, die die Kardashians  jüngst der globalen Weltöffentlichkeit kredenzten. Das erste Date lief Spitze. Ich weiß jetzt alles über die Verarmungsängste des Kinds, die Vornamenfavoriten für meine ungeborenen Enkel, dass mein Kochstil de facto zu Montessori ist und wie der Rest ihrer Gang so tickt. Ich entließ das Kind nach fünf Stunden Qualitätszeit mit einem „Ach lass nur, ich räum das schon weg“-Küsschen. Sie verstand die Welt nicht mehr, warf aber im Gegenzug dafür mit Komplimenten um sich wie mit Konfetti: dass ich zwar alt wäre, aber mich angenehm nicht altersadäquat  benehmen würde. Und sie meinem Chaos soviel verdanke: nämlich rigide Strukturen und eine gewisse Pedanterie in ihrem eigenen Leben. Am nächsten Tag bedankte sie sich per SMS für den schönen Abend, wie es sich eben so schickt, und wir beschlossen uns in zwei Wochen wieder in so einer Doch-irgendwie-schön-dass-es-dich-gibt-Veranstaltung zu üben. Als EPM (Entfremdungs-Präventions-Maßnahme).

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