Kolumnen

Ein Engel namens Gustl – 29.10.2016

Auf zu neuen Rettungsankern! 

Unlängst in der Riesen-Buchhandlung auf der „Mahü“, so das Wiener Idiom für jene Einkaufsstraße, in der sonst vor allem weiße Turnschuhe und Glitzer-Handyhüllen feil geboten werden. Nach einer Lesung wanderte ich abends mit meiner dortigen Vertrauensperson, der Frau U, durch die menschenleeren Gänge, wo in Stapeln Autoren-Blut in Buchform lag. Da die Frau U so nahe an den Lektüre-Bedürfnissen der Menschen dran ist, wie sonst kaum jemand, fragte ich sie, wovon die denn jetzt so magisch angezogen werden würden. „Also“, setzte sie zu einem Referat über die Zutaten eines Bestsellers an, „Hunde sollten vorkommen, aber nicht sterben, Liebe, aber nicht so, dass sie rettungslos gegen die Wand gefahren wird, das Auftreten von Schweizern in Romanen wird gar nicht gewünscht, hingegen wird alles mit Engeln sehr gerne genommen.“ – „Und was, wenn Engel Schwyzerdütsch reden?“ Den Einwand ignorierte sie mit einem tadelnden Blick: „Mit Engeln, am besten Schutzengeln, Aura-Edelsteinen und Karma in jeder Form ist man auf der ganz sicheren Seite. Das geht wie kräftige Rindsbouillon an einem kalten Wintertag.“ Ist ja auch, ganz realistisch betrachtet, völlig logisch, dass Engel die aktuellen Kriegsgewinnler sind. In einer Zeit, wo ganze Branchen den Bach runtergehen und Angst sowie Verunsicherung täglich auf dem emotionalen Menüplan stehen, brauchen wir alle Rettungsanker, in welcher Form auch immer. Auf dem Nachhauseweg beschloss ich, mir einfach einen Engel im Do-it-yourself-Verfahren zu imaginieren und ihn Gustl zu nennen. „Gustl“, flüsterte ich ins Universum, „ich hoffe sehr, dass du nicht gewerkschaftlich organisiert bist, denn mit mir wirst du viele Überstunden machen müssen. Ich bin’s, deine schon jetzt sehr mühsame Schutzbefohlene.“ Noch schwieg Gustl. Er war offensichtlich noch am Tüfteln, ob er für diese Art von Beziehung schon bereit war.

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