Kolumnen

In Madonnas Rachen – 23.07.2016

Polly Adler über Instagramitis und Likemania.

Der HNO-Arzt leuchtete in Madonnas Rachen. Der Kameramann filmte wie selbstverständlich mit. Eine Szene aus der Doku „In Bed With Madonna“. Warren Beatty,  Madonnas Spielgefährte, kam aus dem Kopfschütteln nicht heraus: „Ich kann es nicht fassen, du lässt das mitfilmen – aber warum wundert mich das!? Ein Leben jenseits von Kameras existiert für dich einfach nicht.“ Das war 1990. Inzwischen ist Leben ohne Außenwahrnehmung so wertlos wie Lehman-Aktien. Heute sind alle Madonna. Besonders jetzt im Ferienirrsinn toben Instagramitis und  Likemania. Ständig  werden Poseidonplatten, frisch pedikürte Füße, neue Tuniken, Sonnenunter-, -auf- und -zwischengänge, Fort- und Grünpflänze der bilderfressenden Hydra vorgeworfen. Und dann noch  dieser Tsunami von Selfies – Menschen jenseits der Midlife-Krise springen wie Waldorf-Schüler durch die Lüfte, Damen weit über dem Wechsel-Gebirge schürzen ihre Schnuten in Kombination mit diesem „Nimm mich jetzt und gleich“-Blick, als ob sie für serbische Wirkwarenkataloge aus den Achtzigern posieren wollten. „Niemand ist mehr in seiner analogen Situation“, klagt ein Freund nach einem Urlaub, „alle verfolgen nur hochkonzentriert die Mission, dass die Welt sich das richtige Bild von ihnen macht.“ Der akute  Zustand erinnerte mich an meinen Studentenjob als Tourguide, bei dem ich Amis durch Europa karrte. Als ich eine Truppe Hawaiianer in Paris in die Notre-Dame getrieben hatte, büchste mir einer aus. Er erklärte mir im Abgang, er müsse dringend Bally-Schuhe besorgen, seine Frau würde den ganzen Plunder ohnehin mit der Videokamera festhalten, das könne man sich ja dann  zu Hause ansehen. Wir sind zunehmend wie dieser Bally-Hawaiianer. Hilfe!  Und möge unser Leben ansonsten nur ein ganz klein wenig so glamourös, durchgeknallt, originell und exzentrisch seien, wie wir es mit glühenden Fingerkuppen der Welt so angestrengt zu vermitteln versuchen.

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