Kolumnen

Keine Apfeltarte, die Ehe – 10.09.2016

Eine Postkarte aus der Provence.

Endlich wieder Provence. Man versteht allzu gut, warum die Impressionisten-Racker hier im 19. Jahrhundert ihre Staffeleien positioniert haben. Dieses Spätnachmittags-Licht hat sonst keine Location der Welt im Angebot. Nachmittags gegen sechs im Café de France in Isle-sur-la-Sorgue parkt sich regelmäßig ein 70-plus-Pärchen ein. Die fetten Blumen auf ihrem Kleid erzählen, dass sie noch immer an ihren erotischen Verkehrswert glaubt, ihr Lippenstift leuchtet. Er sieht krank,  aber gepflegt aus, für sein Haarkränzchen  hat er den Farbton Rosskastanie gewählt. Der Rosé wird im Eiskübel serviert. Sie nippt mädchenhaft, er ist schnell beim dritten Gläschen. Sie: „Jean-Luc, du hast es mir doch versprochen …“ – „Musst du jetzt wieder damit anfangen, Eloise …“ – „Aber deine Galle!“ – „Meine Galle kann mich mal. Ich lasse mir sicher nicht von einem solchen lachhaften Organ diktieren, wie ich zu leben habe …“ – „Aber ich, ich brauch’ dich doch noch.“ – „Es interessiert mich nicht, 107 in Yasmintee-Begleitung zu werden.“ – „Aber könnten wir uns auf 88 mit nur zwei Gläschen Rosé einigen?“ Jetzt kniff er sie zärtlich in die Wange: „Ich bete dich an, du kleine Nervensäge. Du bist schöner als eine Schäfchenwolke.“ Sie kichert.
Dann küsst Jean-Luc seine Nervensäge, als ob er demnächst eine mehrjährige Gefängnisstrafe antreten müsste. Zwei Kellner, die gerade vor dem Café eine Zigarettenpause abhalten, applaudieren. Dann flüstert der ältere seinem Kollegen anerkennend: „Das musst du einmal hinkriegen nach 54 Ehejahren …“ – Der antwortet nur bleiern müde: „Ich muss morgen wieder in die Paartherapie. Sie glaubt, ich bin ein Auto, das man reparieren kann. Dabei habe ich keinen Tropfen Leidenschaft mehr im Tank.“ Angesichts dieses Desasters hat Kellner 1 keinen Trost, sondern nur mehr den Satz im Talon: „Ja, ja, die Ehe  ist eben keine Apfeltarte.“

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