Kolumnen

Keine Gegen-, sondern Zustände – 15.10.2016

Meine Prada-Taschen sind Zeit, Freiheit, vor allem Angstfreiheit.

Luxus? Das sind inzwischen längst keine Gegen-, sondern Zustände. Nichts gegen einen Hauch von Pullover aus Wolle von Anden-Bergziegen, die vegan ernährt wurden, Siesta halten durften und einen schicken Vornamen hatten, aber so ein Teil boostet meine Laune nicht wie früher. Meine Prada-Taschen sind Zeit, Freiheit, vor allem Angstfreiheit. Hat mich vier Jahre Psychotherapie gekostet – ein Luxus, den ich mir jederzeit wieder leisten würde. Irgendwann drehten wir uns jedoch  im Kreise, mein „Deppen-Installateur“ (©Wien) und ich. Da wusste ich, dass es Zeit war, zu gehen. Die riesige Nebenwirkung dieser Tauchgänge: Und ja, mir geht dieses Verb genauso auf die Nerven wie loslassen, aber es war tatsächlich die Fähigkeit, sich abzugrenzen. Den Menschen, die sich zunehmend als Vampire meiner Lebensgier entwickelt hatten, sagte ich laut „Servus“, Kränkungen ließ ich am langen Arm verhungern, in Liebesgeschichten entfernte ich mich von dieser zwänglerischen „Alles-oder-nichts“-Denke. Schließlich hatte ich den Luxus des Gefühls, kein Volk mehr gründen zu müssen, mich selbst versorgen zu können und keine Panik vor dem Alleinsein zu haben. Es reichte, einen Mann einfach nur großartig zu finden. Ziel- und zweckbefreit. Neben Zeit und Freiheit (auch jener von einem gewissen Beweis-Gestreber meiner kreativen Fähigkeiten, das ich früher an mir recht unsympathisch fand) begriff ich zunehmend, wie luxuriös Freundschaften sind. Meine längsten sind über 40 Jahre alt. Das Schöne an diesen langlebigen Freundschaften: Man muss keine Pfauenräder mehr schlagen und darf seelisch auch völlig abgeschminkt daherkommen. Ober-Luxus Nummer 4: Der Room-Service im Hotel Mama wird demnächst eingestellt und der Fortpflanz frei gestellt. Und danke, Katharine Hepburn, du Hollywood-Freibeuterin, für den Slogan: „Am Ende des Tages habe ich es nur einem einzigen Menschen recht gemacht: mir selbst.“

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