Kolumnen

Mel und die Möbeltherapie – 04.03.2017

Die Oscars sind zwar schon längst wieder Geschichte, aber mir ist noch immer flau im Magen, wenn ich an das Szenario denke: Mel Gibson, weltberühmt wegen seiner Alkoholexzesse und antisemitischer  Entgleisungen, geht über den roten Teppich und zieht die schüchtern blickende Mutter seines neunten Kinds hinter sich her. Rosalind Ross ist 24, Gibson 59. Sie sieht also nicht mehr aus wie seine Tochter, sondern schrammt hart am Enkelinnen-Verdacht. Es ist ein ohnehin schon sehr gespenstisches Bild, das noch einen Tick schauriger wird, als Gibson die Glückwünsche für das frisch geborene Baby von einem deutschen Reporter entgegen nimmt und seine äußerst magere Gefährtin danach (ohne dass die Frau auch nur irgendwie vorgestellt wird)  in die Flanken knufft und voll Trophäenstolz fest stellt: „Schau‘ sie dir nur an, Buddy, es ist gerade einmal fünf Wochen her und so sieht sie schon wieder aus.“ Die Frau bleibt stumm, sie hat sich offensichtlich schon daran gewöhnt, dass sie von ihrem Kerl wie ein Möbel behandelt wird. Es ist ganz klar ersichtlich eine Handelspartnerschaft: Couture-Kleider, roter Teppich, ein Mann, den jeder kennt, dafür muss es einfach drinnen sein, dass man sich ab und an vergegenständlichen lässt. Die Szene erinnert an Trumps Antrittsbesuch im Weißen Haus, als er alleine die Feststiege hinauf zu den Obamas hirschte und  seine Grumpy First Lady sich alleine aus der Limo schälen musste. Liegt gerade voll im Trend, dass Frauen wie einmal mehr oder auch weniger geliebtes Spielzeug behandelt werden. War aber nie ganz aus der Mode. Ob wir den Frauentag am kommenden Mittwoch brauchen? Ich fürchte, wir werden uns noch eine ganze Weile darüber ärgern, dass wir ihn feiern müssen. Nämlich solange Typen wie Mel und Don auf der freien Wildbahn ihre Lianen schwingen und natürlich solange es irgendwelche Janes gibt, die auf die äußerst bereitwillig hinaufklettern …

Toggle Console (1, 1!)
Warning
file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(/var/lib/php5) is not within the allowed path(s): (/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/:/tmp/) on line 2290 in file /var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs/wp-content/plugins/pods/includes/general.php
Profiler (0 ms)
No entries found.
SQL (43 queries | 5.04 ms)
0.1080
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'itsec-enable-grade-report' 
LIMIT 1
0.0620
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_framework_upgraded_1_x' 
LIMIT 1
0.1020
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'ossdl_https' 
LIMIT 1
0.0470
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'gzipcompression' 
LIMIT 1
0.0620
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = '_site_transient_timeout_itsec_wp_upload_dir' 
LIMIT 1
0.0570
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = '_site_transient_itsec_wp_upload_dir' 
LIMIT 1
0.1018
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'autoptimize_imgopt_provider_stat' 
LIMIT 1
0.0470
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'classic-editor-allow-users' 
LIMIT 1
0.0410
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'classic-editor-replace' 
LIMIT 1
0.1101
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'wp_mail_smtp' 
LIMIT 1
0.0670
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_component_settings' 
LIMIT 1
0.1049
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'can_compress_scripts' 
LIMIT 1
0.1020
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'wp_super_cache_disabled' 
LIMIT 1
0.3269
SELECT `lockout_host` 
FROM `AH_itsec_lockouts` 
WHERE `lockout_active`=1 
AND `lockout_expire_gmt` > '2019-04-21 18:27:01' 
AND `lockout_host` = '18.212.239.56';
0.0999
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'preload_cache_counter' 
LIMIT 1
0.0572
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_disable_file_browser' 
LIMIT 1
0.0420
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_files_require_login' 
LIMIT 1
0.0401
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_files_require_login_cap' 
LIMIT 1
0.0360
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_disable_file_upload' 
LIMIT 1
0.0389
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_upload_require_login' 
LIMIT 1
0.0401
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_upload_require_login_cap' 
LIMIT 1
0.4520
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.post_name = 'mel-und-die-moebeltherapie-04-03-2017' 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'kolumnen' 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.1872
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (425) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0980
SELECT * 
FROM AH_users 
WHERE ID = '2' 
LIMIT 1
0.0560
SELECT user_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_usermeta 
WHERE user_id IN (2) 
ORDER BY umeta_id ASC
0.7021
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
INNER JOIN AH_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('post_tag') 
AND tr.object_id IN (425) 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.4570
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
INNER JOIN AH_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category') 
AND tr.object_id IN (425) 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.0529
SELECT term_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_termmeta 
WHERE term_id IN (1) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0629
SELECT * 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE ID = 132 
LIMIT 1
0.0470
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (132) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0610
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE t.term_id = 2
0.0460
SELECT tr.object_id 
FROM AH_term_relationships AS tr 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND tt.term_id IN ('2') 
ORDER BY tr.object_id ASC
0.0570
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (7,14,15,291,530,531,546) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'nav_menu_item' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.menu_order ASC
0.0570
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (7,546,530,531,15,291,14) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0551
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (12) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'page' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.0460
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (12) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.5982
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category') 
AND t.term_id IN ( 1 ) 
AND tt.count > 0 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.0579
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND t.slug = 'footer' 
LIMIT 1
0.0448
SELECT tr.object_id 
FROM AH_term_relationships AS tr 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND tt.term_id IN ('10') 
ORDER BY tr.object_id ASC
0.0541
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (512,513,544) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'nav_menu_item' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.menu_order ASC
0.0448
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (512,544,513) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0689
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (448,541,12) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'page' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.0439
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (541,448) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
Templates
[0] => themes/pollyadler/single-kolumnen.php
[1] => themes/pollyadler/header.php
[2] => themes/pollyadler/template-parts/thumbnailcaption.php
[3] => themes/pollyadler/footer.php
Globals
$_GET = array (
);

$_POST = array (
);

$_COOKIE = array (
);

$_SESSION = array (
);

$_SERVER = array (
  'SERVER_SOFTWARE' => 'Apache',
  'REQUEST_URI' => '/kolumnen/mel-und-die-moebeltherapie-04-03-2017/',
  'USER' => 'pollyareso',
  'HOME' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at',
  'SCRIPT_NAME' => '/index.php',
  'QUERY_STRING' => '',
  'REQUEST_METHOD' => 'GET',
  'SERVER_PROTOCOL' => 'HTTP/1.0',
  'GATEWAY_INTERFACE' => 'CGI/1.1',
  'REDIRECT_URL' => '/kolumnen/mel-und-die-moebeltherapie-04-03-2017/',
  'REMOTE_PORT' => '33030',
  'SCRIPT_FILENAME' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs/index.php',
  'SERVER_ADMIN' => 'lr@cwd.at',
  'CONTEXT_DOCUMENT_ROOT' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs',
  'CONTEXT_PREFIX' => '',
  'REQUEST_SCHEME' => 'https',
  'DOCUMENT_ROOT' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs',
  'REMOTE_ADDR' => '18.212.239.56',
  'SERVER_PORT' => '443',
  'SERVER_ADDR' => '195.2.220.62',
  'SERVER_NAME' => 'www.pollyadler.at',
  'SERVER_SIGNATURE' => '',
  'PATH' => '/usr/local/sbin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/sbin:/usr/bin:/sbin:/bin',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING' => 'gzip',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT_LANGUAGE' => 'en-US,en;q=0.5',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT' => 'text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8',
  'HTTP_USER_AGENT' => 'CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)',
  'HTTP_CONNECTION' => 'close',
  'HTTP_X_ACCEL_INTERNAL' => '/internal-nginx-static-location',
  'HTTP_X_REAL_IP' => '18.212.239.56',
  'HTTP_HOST' => 'www.pollyadler.at',
  'proxy-nokeepalive' => '1',
  'HTTPS' => 'on',
  'REDIRECT_STATUS' => '200',
  'REDIRECT_HTTPS' => 'on',
  'FCGI_ROLE' => 'RESPONDER',
  'PHP_SELF' => '/index.php',
  'REQUEST_TIME_FLOAT' => '1555871221.1943',
  'REQUEST_TIME' => '1555871221',
);

Close