Kolumnen

„Wir verkühlen uns sehr leicht“ – 12.11.2016

Über den Neid, der sich angesichts Paar-Symbiotikern breit macht. 

„Wir essen sehr gerne nicht zu spät.“ – „Wir fahren immer wieder einfach so ins Blaue.“ –  „Wir mögen keine Austern, lieben aber  Risipisi.“ – „Wir haben kürzlich das Wandern entdeckt.“ – „Leider verkühlen wir uns sehr leicht.“ Es ist schön, wenn zwei Menschen zu einer Einheit verschmelzen, ihre Bedürfnisse zu einem großen Ganzen konzertieren können, in dem Harmonie, tiefste Hingabe und seelischer Gleichklang die Tonart angeben. Begegnungen mit solchen symbiotischen We-People-Paaren machen rabiate Individualisten meiner Natur nahezu neidisch. Triggern natürlich auch Selbstvorwürfe: Hätte man sein Ich nicht immer so frech raushängen lassen, könnte man es jetzt vielleicht auch so Wir-gemütlich haben. Solche Begegnungen machen mich aber auch ein bisschen stutzig. Denn meistens ist die weibliche Hälfte solcher We-People auch das Sprachrohr, während der Mann oft zur – von affirmativem Nicken unterbrochener – Schweigsamkeit neigt. Ab und zu wird der im Ruhemodus Resignierte dann von ihr, der plauderbegabten Dampflok der Beziehung, mit  Sätzen wie „Wir sind heute nicht gerade sehr gesprächig“ getätschelt. Die Dokumentarfilmerin Elizabeth T., die es als TV-Kupplerin zu Ruhm gebracht hat, verriet mir, dass Männer, vor allem wenn sie schon einiges an Drama-Kilometern auf dem Liebes-Tacho hinter sich gebracht haben, am liebsten zu „den Mutti-Typen“ greifen, die den Lebensabschnittspartner mit „einem guten Paperl“ bei der Stange halten und seine Umsorgungsfantasien auf Touren bringt. Die beste Voraussetzung für ein florierendes Wir ist also ganz simpel:  Für seine Bequemlichkeit darf ihr nichts zu anstrengend sein. Keine besonders rosigen Aussichten für ein zwischengeschlechtliches Happy End, denn mein Mutterkomplex steckt noch in den Kinderschuhen. Wir müssen uns also schon einmal kräftig Sorgen machen.

Toggle Console (1, 1!)
Warning
file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(/var/lib/php5) is not within the allowed path(s): (/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/:/tmp/) on line 2290 in file /var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs/wp-content/plugins/pods/includes/general.php
Profiler (0 ms)
No entries found.
SQL (41 queries | 6.16 ms)
0.3009
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'itsec-enable-grade-report' 
LIMIT 1
0.1380
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_framework_upgraded_1_x' 
LIMIT 1
0.2770
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'ossdl_https' 
LIMIT 1
0.1020
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'gzipcompression' 
LIMIT 1
0.1411
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = '_site_transient_timeout_itsec_wp_upload_dir' 
LIMIT 1
0.1242
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = '_site_transient_itsec_wp_upload_dir' 
LIMIT 1
0.2460
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'autoptimize_imgopt_provider_stat' 
LIMIT 1
0.1090
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'classic-editor-allow-users' 
LIMIT 1
0.0832
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'classic-editor-replace' 
LIMIT 1
0.2799
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'wp_mail_smtp' 
LIMIT 1
0.1090
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_component_settings' 
LIMIT 1
0.2830
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'can_compress_scripts' 
LIMIT 1
0.2470
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'wp_super_cache_disabled' 
LIMIT 1
0.1900
SELECT `lockout_host` 
FROM `AH_itsec_lockouts` 
WHERE `lockout_active`=1 
AND `lockout_expire_gmt` > '2019-04-21 18:49:47' 
AND `lockout_host` = '18.212.239.56';
0.2630
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'preload_cache_counter' 
LIMIT 1
0.1800
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_disable_file_browser' 
LIMIT 1
0.1090
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_files_require_login' 
LIMIT 1
0.0980
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_files_require_login_cap' 
LIMIT 1
0.0901
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_disable_file_upload' 
LIMIT 1
0.0761
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_upload_require_login' 
LIMIT 1
0.0851
SELECT option_value 
FROM AH_options 
WHERE option_name = 'pods_upload_require_login_cap' 
LIMIT 1
0.3181
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.post_name = 'wir-verkuehlen-uns-sehr-leicht-12-11-2016' 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'kolumnen' 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.1590
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (205) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.1428
SELECT * 
FROM AH_users 
WHERE ID = '2' 
LIMIT 1
0.0529
SELECT user_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_usermeta 
WHERE user_id IN (2) 
ORDER BY umeta_id ASC
0.7479
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
INNER JOIN AH_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('post_tag') 
AND tr.object_id IN (205) 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.4542
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
INNER JOIN AH_term_relationships AS tr ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category') 
AND tr.object_id IN (205) 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.0510
SELECT term_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_termmeta 
WHERE term_id IN (1) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0620
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE t.term_id = 2
0.0460
SELECT tr.object_id 
FROM AH_term_relationships AS tr 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND tt.term_id IN ('2') 
ORDER BY tr.object_id ASC
0.0610
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (7,14,15,291,530,531,546) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'nav_menu_item' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.menu_order ASC
0.0510
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (7,546,530,531,15,291,14) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0551
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (12) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'page' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.0441
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (12) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0482
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('category') 
AND t.term_id IN ( 1 ) 
AND tt.count > 0 
ORDER BY t.name ASC
0.0601
SELECT t.*, tt.* 
FROM AH_terms AS t 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON t.term_id = tt.term_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND t.slug = 'footer' 
LIMIT 1
0.0448
SELECT tr.object_id 
FROM AH_term_relationships AS tr 
INNER JOIN AH_term_taxonomy AS tt ON tr.term_taxonomy_id = tt.term_taxonomy_id 
WHERE tt.taxonomy IN ('nav_menu') 
AND tt.term_id IN ('10') 
ORDER BY tr.object_id ASC
0.0529
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (512,513,544) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'nav_menu_item' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.menu_order ASC
0.0591
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (512,544,513) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
0.0761
SELECT AH_posts.* 
FROM AH_posts 
WHERE 1=1 
AND AH_posts.ID IN (448,541,12) 
AND AH_posts.post_type = 'page' 
AND ((AH_posts.post_status = 'publish')) 
ORDER BY AH_posts.post_date DESC
0.0460
SELECT post_id, meta_key, meta_value 
FROM AH_postmeta 
WHERE post_id IN (541,448) 
ORDER BY meta_id ASC
Templates
[0] => themes/pollyadler/single-kolumnen.php
[1] => themes/pollyadler/header.php
[2] => themes/pollyadler/template-parts/thumbnailcaption.php
[3] => themes/pollyadler/footer.php
Globals
$_GET = array (
);

$_POST = array (
);

$_COOKIE = array (
);

$_SESSION = array (
);

$_SERVER = array (
  'SERVER_SOFTWARE' => 'Apache',
  'REQUEST_URI' => '/kolumnen/wir-verkuehlen-uns-sehr-leicht-12-11-2016/',
  'USER' => 'pollyareso',
  'HOME' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at',
  'SCRIPT_NAME' => '/index.php',
  'QUERY_STRING' => '',
  'REQUEST_METHOD' => 'GET',
  'SERVER_PROTOCOL' => 'HTTP/1.0',
  'GATEWAY_INTERFACE' => 'CGI/1.1',
  'REDIRECT_URL' => '/kolumnen/wir-verkuehlen-uns-sehr-leicht-12-11-2016/',
  'REMOTE_PORT' => '47614',
  'SCRIPT_FILENAME' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs/index.php',
  'SERVER_ADMIN' => 'lr@cwd.at',
  'CONTEXT_DOCUMENT_ROOT' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs',
  'CONTEXT_PREFIX' => '',
  'REQUEST_SCHEME' => 'https',
  'DOCUMENT_ROOT' => '/var/www/vhosts/pollyadler.at/httpdocs',
  'REMOTE_ADDR' => '18.212.239.56',
  'SERVER_PORT' => '443',
  'SERVER_ADDR' => '195.2.220.62',
  'SERVER_NAME' => 'www.pollyadler.at',
  'SERVER_SIGNATURE' => '',
  'PATH' => '/usr/local/sbin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/sbin:/usr/bin:/sbin:/bin',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING' => 'gzip',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT_LANGUAGE' => 'en-US,en;q=0.5',
  'HTTP_ACCEPT' => 'text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8',
  'HTTP_USER_AGENT' => 'CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)',
  'HTTP_CONNECTION' => 'close',
  'HTTP_X_ACCEL_INTERNAL' => '/internal-nginx-static-location',
  'HTTP_X_REAL_IP' => '18.212.239.56',
  'HTTP_HOST' => 'www.pollyadler.at',
  'proxy-nokeepalive' => '1',
  'HTTPS' => 'on',
  'REDIRECT_STATUS' => '200',
  'REDIRECT_HTTPS' => 'on',
  'FCGI_ROLE' => 'RESPONDER',
  'PHP_SELF' => '/index.php',
  'REQUEST_TIME_FLOAT' => '1555872586.8322',
  'REQUEST_TIME' => '1555872586',
);

Close